They never ask, but they always wonder...Why BDSM?
The truth is, public speaking can be terrifying, but public speaking to 100+ people about BDSM is an utterly nerve-electrifying experience. I began studying sexual and reproductive health in extraordinary populations at USC. The word 'extraordinary', in this sense, would mean the statistical outliers...the sex we don't talk about. I was interested in sex for women with intellectual and physical disabilities, BDSM, and the LGBTQ+ population. These were the chapters in my textbooks that were the smallest, if an entire chapter was even dedicated to the subject.
I scoured the internet, obsessed with finding all of the information I could, and stumbled upon a curious website. It allowed me to take a test completely anonymously, while still gathering data about the test taker, if one was agreeable, and of course, I was. The test asked questions about both sexual and non-sexual practices and told the taker where they would fall on the scale of kinkiness. I was game to take the test, and I immediately contacted the company about the data collected. My cry was not of 'Eureka,' but rather..."Hmmm. Not what I expected in the slightest."
I scoured the internet, obsessed with finding all of the information I could, and stumbled upon a curious website. It allowed me to take a test completely anonymously, while still gathering data about the test taker, if one was agreeable, and of course, I was. The test asked questions about both sexual and non-sexual practices and told the taker where they would fall on the scale of kinkiness. I was game to take the test, and I immediately contacted the company about the data collected. My cry was not of 'Eureka,' but rather..."Hmmm. Not what I expected in the slightest."
BDSM is not a statistical outlier!!!
Having stumbled upon this fact, I devoured all of the information I could find everywhere I could find (and BTW, if it is to be found, I will be the one to find it) on the internet, in peer-reviewed articles, and in the community. Now, if I'm honest, it wasn't the first time I'd ever heard of all of the BDSM practices, but it was the first time I had investigated it from a scholarly perspective.
Then, I was asked if I would be interested in presenting my information to the 2016 South Carolina HIV, STD and Viral Hepatitis Conference. I was warned, and rightfully so, that if I accepted the invitation, I may end up type-cast as "that BDSM girl forever." Having never shied from titles before, it was an easy decision and really, it's not the worst title to have. It could have been "That Super Boring Chick."
My first year presenting Feathers and Ice, the room was so packed that the doors had to be closed...it might have been a fire hazard. But it was a great experience with a hugely diverse group of attendees. The next year, I made some tweaks in the presentation, and packed the room again, finding that this time, I had repeat attendees.
Then, I was asked if I would be interested in presenting my information to the 2016 South Carolina HIV, STD and Viral Hepatitis Conference. I was warned, and rightfully so, that if I accepted the invitation, I may end up type-cast as "that BDSM girl forever." Having never shied from titles before, it was an easy decision and really, it's not the worst title to have. It could have been "That Super Boring Chick."
My first year presenting Feathers and Ice, the room was so packed that the doors had to be closed...it might have been a fire hazard. But it was a great experience with a hugely diverse group of attendees. The next year, I made some tweaks in the presentation, and packed the room again, finding that this time, I had repeat attendees.
The 2018 presentation was one of the most challenging presentations I've done...
I was on the Program Planning Committee that year and had not anticipated presenting again. We were down to the last presentation slot, and they popped the question...would I do another BDSM presentation? And not just another presentation, but a new one, involving the #MeToo movement. Why? Well of course there was the case of those using BDSM as an excuse for their abusive practices. I agreed, but it wasn't easy, especially considering the political climate, to discuss WOC in the role of 'slave,' for example. But I did manage to do it, it was well-attended, and it was appreciated, to my surprise. Since then, I've found that I can turn most any field into BDSM-related (but not all, so let's be clear on whether we're choosing 'adventurous academia' or 'something different than we've had'), and I'm now well-seasoned and more than capable of creating a presentation or lecture for your group.
Some disclaimers...
The photos in my presentations are not always mine, AND I am not in any of these photos. I'm willing to give you a list of references used, but you'll have to contact me personally, because it's forever long and not always included on the last slides, although it may be in small print under the photos.